Driving

What don't people understand when it comes to driving? Driving is a way of transporting yourself from point A to point B at a faster speed than walking from point A to point B. That's all it is. It's not a friggin' race! You don't have to be first!  There is not a shiny gold trophy filled with $100 bills waiting for you at the next mile! Please don't risk my life because you think you are playing Need For Speed! 

True story.

By the way, those little lights by your brake lights... Those are called "turn signals". They are connected to that little stick coming out of the left side of your steering column. They are not there for decoration! USE THEM! They let people behind you know what the hell you are thinking about doing before you do it.... if, in fact, you really do think that far ahead.

And if we are on the turnpike and you feel the need to go faster than I am, go around me. It's not hard. There is absolutely no reason to flash your brights, scream, shout, curse, flip me off, make obscene gestures, or run into the back of me. Because if you do any of the following, I'M JUST GOING TO GO SLOWER, MORON! Just go around me. There are two lanes for a reason. One of them is actually called 'the passing lane'! I am not moving over for you for two reasons: I would then be in the left lane and it's technically illegal for you to pass me on the right and IT'S NOT YOUR ROAD!!

And for the other group of you that think it's okay to drive 35 in a 70... Don't get pissed when I pass you. Why do people speed up when I try to pass them? What's that about?! When I pass you, it's not like I'm trying to question your manhood or something. It's just me passing you because, unlike yourself, I don't have 4 hours to get to where I'm going. So don't speed up or swerve left of center when I try to pass you because you're moving slower than my metabolism. It's also still not a race. Its okay if someone is in front of you. Just let it happen... it'll be ok... Breathe...